21
Nov
13

Poker Issue #18 Learning to love the bad-beat

By thesecretpokerplayer Leave a Comment
Categories: Anger, Debate, Late Night Poker, The Secret Poker Player, Tilt and TSPP
Tags: , , , ,

Nobody likes losing at anything, but there’s something about losing at poker that is even worse.

Lose a football game or snakes and ladders, and you can usually shake it off pretty quickly.

That isn’t always the case with poker – especially when you’ve suffered a bad-beat.

It might be the endless hours of toil that is involved, or the feeling of injustice you can feel when some fool gets lucky.

But last night, at around 12.45am, I had a moment of clarity.

Zen

I came to the conclusion that losing to a bad-beat SHOULD be a cause for celebration.

We should all be aiming to ONLY lose in a bad-beat situation, because it means our hand was good when it mattered.

And contrary to popular belief – ‘then it matters’ is when the money goes in, not at showdown.

I’ve written many posts about bad-beats, because they play a big part in the amateur poker player’s experience of the game.

Most pros don’t even bother with the term, and laugh at the idea of getting upset by it (aside from Mr Phil Helmuth of course).

But for mortals, when bad-beats happen, it hurts.

BrokenKeys

It’s a much nicer feeling to outdraw someone and get lucky rather than have it happen the other way around.

But while that feels better in the short term, it’s actually a sign that you made a mistake or misread a situation.

Of course, sometimes calling when you’re behind is the right decision, but what I’m talking about it a true bad-beat.

Last night, I was playing a low-stakes sit-and-go to pass the time.

Nothing serious, and maybe that’s why I can be so philosophical about the way I went out.

I read a situation perfectly and managed to get my chips in with K-10 against J-10.

My opponent caught a Jack and I went out two away from the money.

I had been in a marginal spot as it was a squeeze shove after an opening raise and flat-call – but it had been 100 per cent right.

Rather than throwing the laptop at the wall and accusing the website of cheating, or anything else that was ridiculous, I felt quite content.

I had made the right move – it just hadn’t worked out.

My opponent probably fist-pumped fresh-air and went on to win the tournament.

That wasn’t a monster bad-beat by any means.

But from now on, I’m going to try to see bad-beats as a good thing – even as I watch the chips slide across the felt to the lucky clown who’s on his feet cheering!

Related stories

Poker Issue #5 Does online poker make you paranoid?

Poker Issue #6 Fury at the poker table

Poker Issue #10 Bad-beat stories are bad news

19
Sep
13

Poker Issue #17 Bring Las Vegas to Grand Theft Auto

By thesecretpokerplayer Leave a Comment
Categories: Poker and TSPP
Tags: , , , , ,

Grand Theft Auto 5 came out this week, meaning online poker sites around the world are going to be a bit quiet for a few weeks.

Everyone is buying it right now and it’s this year’s absolute must-have for gamers.

The epic open-world video game has even managed to break into the mainstream media – something that games, like poker – only succeeds at do when interest is at its highest.

It’s the biggest game in the world right now, but there’s something missing…POKER

Or more specifically, Las Vegas.

Grand-Theft-Auto-V-logo

I’m a bit of a gamer myself, and no doubt I’ll also be shelling out for GTA before too long.

And when I do, my online poker points will drop to zero!

But what I would instantly pay money for is a Las Vegas version of the game.

Rockstar tried this once before with Las Venturas in GTA: San Andreas, but it was pretty poor.

There were few naming rights, and it wasn’t a terribly accurate portrayal of the city.

It was also just a section of a bigger game, and felt like a bit of an afterthought.

grand-theft-auto-san-andreas-las-venturas

Vegas should be the perfect venue for a GTA game – mixing hopes and dreams with crime and misery.

That statement might sound like a slight for Sin City – it’s not.

It’s my favourite place in the world.

But there’s no denying that there’s an underbelly to it when you get off the strip.

Casino heists, grand canyon helicopter trips (if the open world could stretch to Arizona), and chases down Las Vegas Boulevard would be amazing!

When they tried it before, they didn’t make it busy enough, get the casinos involved, or the nightclubs, and it felt like they didn’t really get under the skin of the city.

Their successful portrayal of the Wild West (and a zombie invasion) in Red Dear Redemption is a real teaser, that gives a glimpse into what they could do with Nevada.

Welcome_To_Las_Venturas_Sign

Bring it back Rockstar – make GTA 6: Sin City!

//

18
Sep
13

Poker Issue #16 Luck or skill?

By thesecretpokerplayer Leave a Comment
Categories: Online Poker, Poker, The Secret Poker Player, Tilt and TSPP
Tags: , , , ,

Poker is 60 per cent luck, 40 per cent skill.

That’s what I tell everyone outside of the game when they ask the ‘luck or skill’ question.

It’s shorthand for a longer  answer that I’m not interested in outlining, and they don’t want to hear.

When you’re in the pub, who wants to talk about expected value and equity?

So I stick to the set 60-40 answer.

But the truth is, I don’t even really believe it.

AcesSlowRoll

It’s impossible to work out the true nature of luck in poker – there are so many variables.

OK, everyone knows that AK v QQ is about 50/50, give a percentage point or two.

But what luck variable do you attach to your queens, when someone away from the table is dealt aces?

Sometimes the signs are clear

Often the signs aren’t so clear

And since he’s missing when his aces are mucked, we never know how lucky we have been to dodge them.

Luck is everywhere in poker.

And most of it is invisible and immeasurable.

I busted out  last night, a few spots off the bubble, and I left feeling pretty hard-done by.

But after thinking over the night’s play, I was actually lucky to still be in the tournament at that stage.

Now bear with me…I’m about to describe a poker hand.

In a rare un-raised pot, I sat in the small blind with 4-2 suited on a board of 3-5-7.

I was up against a big blind, and a button limper.

I had been re-raising the button’s steals, so I guessed he had weak broadway cards and wanted to see a cheaper flop.

As it turned out, I was wrong.

I checked, intending to check-shove my straight draw.

The big blind checked behind.

The button raised, as I had hoped, and I was all set to spring my trap…

Then, out of position, the big blind shoved.

He was now committed to the pot, and all the fold equity I had been wanting to use, evaporated.

I folded, with a certain amount of frustration, but it’s very lucky that I did.

The big blind had been slow-playing two pair, and the button called with the flopped straight (4-6).

Now, that was lucky.

red chance no 2 monopoly 6x6 oil

Poker has endless moments of luck determined by how the cards fall.

But sometimes it is the luck that we don’t see and can’t measure that decides who takes home the money.

PREVIOUS POSTS

Poker Issue #15 Slow-rollers should suffer

Poker Issue #14 Is Arsene Wenger a poker player?

//

05
Sep
13

Poker Issue #15 Slow-rollers should suffer

By thesecretpokerplayer 15 Comments
Categories: Anger, Poker, The Secret Poker Player and TSPP
Tags: , , , , , ,
Slow-rollers deserve to be punished by the Poker Gods.
 
Burn in hell slow-rollers!

Burn in hell slow-rollers!

Before we go any further – a prayer to those Mighty Beings of chance and fortune:
Dear Poker Gods,
 
Please punish the slow-rollers – in this life or the next.
For they deserve to feel pain, at the felt or away from it.
If my hand isn’t good, then let the other player win.
But if he tank-calls with the nuts and smiles, please smite away his grin.
 
Amen
 
 
As you may have guessed, I was recently slow-rolled…
 
I made my first ever visit to a casino in Newcastle last weekend, and was welcomed to the Toon by two shocking slow-rolls.
 
I don’t know if word hasn’t yet reached the city, but slow-rolls are out-of-order.
 
The main reason they are so bad, is that they are totally unnecessary.
 
Occasionally a player will feel slow-rolled when a villain takes a long time to make a decision that looks like a snap-call.
 
But if someone is genuinely slow-rolling you, their behaviour is inexcusable.
 
Slow-rolls don’t make me go as mad as they do to a lot of other people – I’ve seen fights break out over the slow turning of a card.
 
In general, I just think less of the person and feel I’ve learned something valuable about their character.
Big bridge
Slow-roll city

 

 
The strange thing about the two slow-rolls I suffered, was that they both came completely out of the blue.
 
There was no aggro at the table, just two smug fools who were lucky enough to wake up with hands.
 
The first was when I shoved into a short stack aces on the button with ace-jack.
 
He must have thought the event was being filmed, because he tanked like he was looking for camera time.
 
The second time was when I shoved jacks into queens.
 
Both hands played themselves and happen all the time.
 
The only reason either stands out, is because of the strange slow-rolls.
 
I was much more disappointed that I lost the hands because of the smug slow-rolling.
Pocket-rockets: Flip the quick

Pocket-rockets: Flip the quick

 
Players who slow-roll preflop are just looking to have their hands cracked, and they deserved to lose at least five per cent equity!
 
Busting either of them would have made me happy – even if it meant me losing the chips a hand later.
 
Players who slow-roll the nuts when there’s no more action deserve to lose equity another way – maybe through a 10 per cent chance that they’ve misread their hand!
 
Being slow-rolled gives the recipient a sense of injustice, no matter how far behind their hand was.
 
So thank you Newcastle – the city of the slow-roll!
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03
Sep
13

Poker Issue #14 Is Arsene Wenger a poker player?

By thesecretpokerplayer 16 Comments
Categories: Poker, Teaching at the table, The Secret Poker Player and TSPP
Tags: , ,
I can’t help thinking Arsene Wenger is a poker player.
One time!

One time!

Judging by his comical attempts in the transfer market, I think the Arsenal manager must be!
He wanders around like a lost boy at a school disco; lurching from girl
to girl, asking for a dance and getting refused at every turn.
It is not that Arsene even really wants to dance; it just seems everyone
else is doing it and so he, very unconvincingly it must be said, tries to
do the same.
You just know that Arsene did not really want to spend 42.4 million pounds on Mesut Ozil.
Arsene Wenger gets pot-committed with Mesut Ozil

Arsene Wenger gets pot-committed with Mesut Ozil

He was just pretending and then got caught out.
Because this is not the way Arsene wants to do business.
He simply does not see why anyone would spend more than a set of
tracksuits and a free tour of the Emirates for any player.
He has a philosophy.
 A set of rules that guides him.
He is sure that his way is the correct way.
And Arsene’s way has been very successful in the past.
 No matter that the game has changed.
Or sometimes your ‘rules’ have to change with what is going on around
you.
Or that he hasn’t won anything for eight years.
Wenger: I'm all in!

Wenger: I’m all in!

I think I can be guilty of this kind of thinking in my poker playing.
I often catch myself thinking that this is “right” or this is “wrong”.
I am often sure that my way of playing is the best way of playing on the table.
I stick to my own set of “rules” even when events suggest I shouldn’t.
How can you call me with that?!

How can you call me with that?!

Now I am not suggesting that Arsene should start spending money like a drunken WAG at a Harvey Nichols sale.
Or that I should just throw out a load of poker principles learned the hard way over years of playing.
But maybe both of us could stop thinking that we are the only ones that are ever right.
And that not only is our way is the best way, it is the only way.
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16
Aug
13

Poker Issue #13 A blood bath waiting to happen – UKIP Stuart Wheeler versus female poker players

By thesecretpokerplayer 15 Comments
Categories: Debate, The Secret Poker Player, TSPP and Vicky Coren
Tags: , , , ,

I’m not one for politics, but I nearly crashed my car last night upon hearing Stuart Wheeler’s views about female poker players.

To recap, UKIP’S Stuart Wheeler claimed that women were less analytic than men and thus deserved their lack of representation in boardrooms.

He sited chess, bridge, and POKER as examples of games where men are better than women.

Leaving aside the nonsense about women not deserving their place in boardrooms, what evidence does he have that men are better at poker?

The only reason there are more successful men playing poker than women, is that there are more men playing poker.

If there were more women than men playing, there would be more successful women than men.

Stuart Wheeler

Fancy some heads-up?

Now, I’m in danger of going to the other extreme here and pointing positive sexist stereotypes at women.

But the truth is, I prefer playing against men rather than women.

Don’t get me wrong, I like seeing cardrooms full of women – the more the better.

The truth is, I generally find women much tougher to play against.

They are harder to read, harder to predict, and harder to manipulate.

That probably says more about my love-life than my poker skill!

Some of the best players in the world, and best ambassadors of the game, are women.

I would love to see Mr Wheeler sit down to a game of heads-up against Vanessa Selbth or Vicky Coren.

Vanessa Selbst

Poker champ Vanessa Selbst

Hell, I’d love to see him play against my girlfriend, who is no professional.

I’ll happily bankroll this idiot into the next all-women poker event, if he were allowed to play.

Just to see if he lasts an hour.

It would be worth it, just for the tension at the table.

I’d just love to watch him play poker – I’d even pay!

In fact, consider it done.

Mr Wheeler, if you’re reading, consider yourself well and truly staked!

I’ll pay, if you play!

Poker does have a problem with the representation of women in the game, and it’s taking longer than it should to rectify.

It is still seen by many (men and women) as a game of masculinity, aggression and arrogance, tinged with the threat of danger.

It is a stigma and image that poker has had trouble shaking off.

And the ridiculous comments from Mr Wheeler do nothing to improve the reputation of poker.

In fact, they give insight into how poker first developed that image.

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14
Aug
13

Poker Issue #12 Distraction reactions and bubble boys

By thesecretpokerplayer 15 Comments
Categories: Anger, Online Poker, Poker, Poker movies, Teaching at the table and The Secret Poker Player
Tags: , , , ,

The Secret Poker Player has been contacted by angry headphone-wearing poker players after criticising their distractions of choice.

It’s hard to imagine they found time to notice!

Here is TSPP’s retort.

Many poker players are playing their game in a bubble – and not the money bubble (that would be very painful!)

Bubble boy

Bubble boy

My criticisms of those wearing headphones, and looking for a distraction at the poker table in general appears to have touched a nerve among some.

It appears, for a variety of reasons, I’m just jealous.

Indeed I could very well be.

I wish I was good enough to wear headphones or be distracted by some other form of technology.

Me, I have to spend my time watching the play, paying attention to when and what people raise to, studying how other players respond to these raises.

Other people don’t have to do any of this.

Sometimes the beats are too good!

Please don’t stop the music!

They play as if they were sharing the table of a train: other people’s actions are an annoyance that need to be shut out.

It is a form of bubble play – not as in tournament cash bubble, but the conventional term of living in a bubble.

It is a bubble created by the tunes coming from the oversized egg cartons sitting at the side of your head.

A bubble that keeps out that boring part of poker where other people are involved.

What can you possibly learn from that?

You have to be really good to wear headphones.

Missed the fact that there has been a raise and re-raise and you’ve now flat called?

That’s fine; you can get those chips back.

Player is all-in and you’ve min-raised after it? Just call the rest and hit a 5.

Worried that your table image is one of a pretentious, self-obsessed child with the attention span of a drunken goldfish who has spent a lifetime eating Haribo and playing computer games?

Don’t, because even if the table hates you it doesn’t mean that their combined efforts can knock you out.

Oops...

Oops…

You’re protected by a bubble remember?

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12
Aug
13

Poker Issue #11 Distraction seekers

By thesecretpokerplayer 16 Comments
Categories: Poker, Poker movies, teaching and The Secret Poker Player
Tags: , , ,

Headphones are an example of many things brought to the poker table to keep players entertained while playing.

And there are stacks of others too, such as books, tablets, computer games, cats…

OK, thankfully I haven’t come across any pets, but everything else is very common at a tournament.

And it’s something that I find very strange.

The question is: why do people play poker if they need to be distracted from it?

What other pastimes demand that you do something else while you are supposed to be enjoying them?

Sometimes the beats are too good!

Blame it on the boogie

People don’t bring tablets to the cinema in case they get bored with the movie, or read books while are on their motorcycles.

So why do people spend their time and money playing poker but then pay little attention to it?

People tell me: “Poker isn’t a game to me, it’s my job/living/life. I need a distraction from it”.

Please.

I can understand needing a distraction from your job.

That’s why I play poker.

What I don’t understand is why some think it is a good idea to have a distraction from their job while they are doing their job!

Read the signs!

Read the signs!

It seems to me that if their main motivation is to make money from playing poker, then they should be paying more, not less, attention to it.

Still, I suppose I should be grateful they are playing poker and not flying my aeroplane, performing heart surgery on me, or even cooking my dinner.

Or basically anything else that involves being of use to anyone, including themselves!

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08
Aug
13

Poker Issue #10 Bad-beat stories are bad news

By thesecretpokerplayer 14 Comments
Categories: Anger, Injustice Title, Online Poker, Poker, The Secret Poker Player, Tilt and TSPP
Tags: ,

No one cares about your bad-beat story – and here is why.

Oscar Wilde:

“A bore is someone who’s talking about themselves when you’re waiting to talk about yourself.”

Mr Wilde would have been a great poker pundit

Wilde would have been a great pundit

I’m not the sort to have Quote of the Day paper-weights.

But if I did, I’d have it permanently on this quote’s page.

This beautifully ironic line is the best I have come across for describing why bad-beat stories are bad news.

I have been putting off writing about this issue for months.

Mainly because I want to do it justice, because for me it is a massive issue.

Here is why.

If you’ve any experience in playing multi-table tournaments with friends, I can guarantee that this scene will be very familiar.

I’ve given these anonymous, imaginary, poker characters names – just for fun.

Simon slumps up at the casino bar for a strong drink to console himself after busting out five players before the bubble.

Dulling the pain

Dulling the pain

Simon is devastated. He can’t believe he lost. But most of all, he can’t believe HOW he lost.

But rest assured, he’s going to try to put it into words!

Fortunately for Simon, his best buddy Barry is already out – and sidles up beside him.

Barry doesn’t know it yet, but he is going to be on the receiving end of this epic story of sorrow, injustice and loss.

Barry does his best to listen as Simon’s story begins: “So, I had ace-king on the button.”

But while Barry is making all the right noises, he’s really waiting for his social cue.

He’s mentally preparing for Simon’s story to be over, so that he can give a word or two of consolation, before launching into his own tale of misery, which begins: “Yeah, that’s bad, but you should hear how I busted out…”

He’s not really been listening to Simon’s story, he’s been thinking about his own bad luck, in a game that is very luck-based.

And that is what happens in 99 per cent of bad-beat story-telling situations.

The other one per cent ends in a break-up!

Gone in sixty seconds: 'I even took a photo!'

Gone in sixty seconds: ‘I even took a photo!’

Forget the burnie fire or the frozen lake of blood and guilt, Hell would be a bar of bad-beat story-tellers.

Simon and Barry both tell their stories and nothing is resolved.

They haven’t learned anything and have just bored each other – as bad-beat stories bore us all.

The painful truth is this: no one is interested in your bad beat story.

Sometimes staying concious is the hardest thing

Sometimes staying conscious is the hardest thing

A bad-beat story is like hearing a story about a dream.

Or looking at someone else’s holiday photos.

Or hearing someone’s plot for a book they’ll never write.

Or hearing about how bad someone else’s job is.

Or watching paint dry…

What it definitely isn’t, is interesting.

I know that sometimes poker pain is so intense that you just have to get it out.

You can’t believe what happened, and you need to share it.

Even as I write this post about the scourge of the bad-beat story, I am itching to outline my worst beat.

It is never far from my mind when someone else is boring me with their latest bad-beat story.

But, I will resist.

And for the sake of poker, we must all resist.

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29
Jul
13

Poker Issue #9 Kid Poker mixes it up with Wolverine

By thesecretpokerplayer 16 Comments
Categories: movies, Poker, Poker movies, Tilt and TSPP
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Daniel Negreanu is in X-Men.

Kid Poker

Kid Poker

That sentence alone should be enough to keep you reading – it would have been enough to make me watch every film, cartoon and comic strip until I found Kid Poker.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an X-Men obsessive.
The films are great and I like watching them.
But seeing Kid Poker arrive with no introduction and not even a wink that it was him during a scene in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, was an amazing moment!

I was enjoying the movie, but that scene really made it for me.
And it was such a surprise.
No doubt readers will be saying “how didn’t you know that?” as it’s a film that’s been around for a few years, and probably common knowledge.
Well, I don’t know either – but it made it all the more special.
It got me thinking too – is there a more surprising poker moment in cinema?
I knew there was a card-throwing mutant in X-Men, but was absolutely astounded to see a pro as an extra in the film.
Casino Royale missed a real trick.
They could have had a full table of Negreanus, Helmuths and Iveys – it would have made it much better than a guy who could fake a bleeding eye tell.

Bleeding Eye Bond villain

Bleeding Eye Bond villain

Anyway, I’ve put together a list.
It’s not some list of the best poker films – that’s been done a million times.
This is my top five poker surprise scenes.
So don’t go whining that Rounders isn’t in there!
With that in mind, enjoy, and let me know what you think.

Top Five Surprises!

5. Se7en

As Morgan Freeman hunts the city library for clues to catching crazed lunatic Kevin Spacey (sorry for the spoiler – but it was out 15 years ago), the city police department squeeze their hole-cards upstairs.
Producing this great little scene: Cops in the library

4. Titanic

Leading man “Never let go Jack” (Leonardo Di Caprio) and his buddy win tickets on to the Titanic in a game of cards. And unusually for Hollywood, they didn’t build it up to be two massive hands crashing into each other like…eh…a boat and an iceberg…?
Anyway, it’s the only thing in the film I liked, and for a brief moment it was even possible to identify with someone in the movie – apart from the slow roll.
The makers missed a trick though – imagine the bad beat story if you really won that ticket and had to die on board. Bit of a suck-out.
Anyway, here’s a clip to prove it: Never let go Jack

3. The Sopranos

Tempers flare at the gangster-managed poker den, with Silvio (Tony’s consiliere) losing his cool over some cheese puffs – classic poker behaviour!
Check out the nonsense here: Gangland poker

2. Goodfellas

Joe Pesci in arguably his best role – apart from Home Alone 2 – features him going crazy at teenage windbag ‘Spider’ and shooting him across a poker table. You don’t get to see much of the hand, but still a great moment.
Click here: Shooting up the spider

1. Daniel Negreanu on X-Men

He’s only in the scene for a minute, and he’s a pure extra.
He has a snooty look at Wolverine when he says he’s on $16 at a $60-$30 cash table, when he’s looking for Gambit.
I nearly fell off me chair when I saw him – no one else really got why I was so excited.
Click here: Kid Poker

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